In other news... (humorous news items)

Seen something interesting in the news or on the intertubes? Discuss it here.

Moderators: Zamfir, Hawknc, Moderators General, Prelates


User avatar
sardia
Posts: 6609
Joined: Sat Apr 03, 2010 3:39 am UTC

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby sardia » Tue Dec 18, 2018 11:27 pm UTC

Soupspoon wrote:NASA roboticists, eh. They all seem to have creative itches to scratch.

His videos ends with the last thief admiring the device, and promptly selling the 4 (admittedly cheap) phones inside.

User avatar
Soupspoon
You have done something you shouldn't. Or are about to.
Posts: 3813
Joined: Thu Jan 28, 2016 7:00 pm UTC
Location: 53-1

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Soupspoon » Thu Jan 03, 2019 8:26 pm UTC

Apparently Just-Eat/UberEats/Deliveroo is contracted to provide passage across the English Channel. (Which one is it with the flying-mopeds ad on telly, ATM?)

*facepalm*

User avatar
CorruptUser
Posts: 10335
Joined: Fri Nov 06, 2009 10:12 pm UTC

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby CorruptUser » Thu Jan 03, 2019 8:38 pm UTC

In fairness, no one reads the EULA. No one.

User avatar
Soupspoon
You have done something you shouldn't. Or are about to.
Posts: 3813
Joined: Thu Jan 28, 2016 7:00 pm UTC
Location: 53-1

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Soupspoon » Thu Jan 03, 2019 8:40 pm UTC

CorruptUser wrote:In fairness, no one reads the EULA. No one.

Or, as it may shortly have to be, the LA.

User avatar
Coyne
Posts: 1068
Joined: Fri Dec 18, 2009 12:07 am UTC
Location: Orlando, Florida
Contact:

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Coyne » Fri Jan 04, 2019 3:30 am UTC

CorruptUser wrote:In fairness, no one reads the EULA. No one.

Life is too short to read most EULA's.

(No, I didn't leave out any words.)
In all fairness...

User avatar
CorruptUser
Posts: 10335
Joined: Fri Nov 06, 2009 10:12 pm UTC

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby CorruptUser » Fri Jan 04, 2019 6:02 am UTC

Are you a bunch of Social Justice Warrior snowflakes? Come join the army!

British recruitment is weird. They want compassion now. And the day I finally get around to watching apocalypse now, no less...

Mutex
Posts: 1402
Joined: Wed Jan 09, 2008 10:32 pm UTC

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Mutex » Fri Jan 04, 2019 9:39 am UTC

I guess compassion is required when the army have to interact with the locals in, say, a foreign country where they're deployed such as Afghanistan or Iraq. I think they're saying they need a huge range of skills and attributes. They also seem to be pushing the idea that seemingly negative attributes like being a phone zombie can actually be useful ones in certain roles in the army. Although that's a bad example, I don't think people who are on their phones all the time necessarily have focus, probably the exact opposite.

User avatar
pkcommando
Posts: 547
Joined: Fri Feb 10, 2012 3:22 pm UTC
Location: Allston, MA

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby pkcommando » Fri Jan 04, 2019 1:14 pm UTC

Soupspoon wrote:Apparently Just-Eat/UberEats/Deliveroo is contracted to provide passage across the English Channel. (Which one is it with the flying-mopeds ad on telly, ATM?)

*facepalm*

From article:
On Wednesday, Transport Secretary Chris Grayling said the government had "looked very carefully" at the business.

I picture a group of middle-aged guys in suits, standing on a sidewalk, staring at a building for several minutes.

"...Well... it's a business alright."
"Yes, I'm quite satisfied it does exist."
*Various harrumphs of agreement.*
"The Universe is for raptors now!" say Raptors, as they take over all of Universe.

User avatar
SDK
Posts: 685
Joined: Thu May 22, 2014 7:40 pm UTC
Location: Canada

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby SDK » Fri Jan 04, 2019 3:02 pm UTC

Mutex wrote:Although that's a bad example, I don't think people who are on their phones all the time necessarily have focus, probably the exact opposite.

I don't know if that matters. All that matters is they think they have focus, leading them to think they might be good for the army, leading to more potential recruits (which is the goal of these posters).
The biggest number (63 quintillion googols in debt)

User avatar
ObsessoMom
Nespresso Bomb
Posts: 786
Joined: Sun Sep 29, 2013 5:28 pm UTC

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby ObsessoMom » Fri Jan 04, 2019 3:39 pm UTC

CorruptUser wrote:Are you a bunch of Social Justice Warrior snowflakes? Come join the army!


FPS EXPERT?
YOUR ARMY NEEDS
YOU
AND YOUR FEARLESSNESS

WANKER?
YOUR ARMY NEEDS
YOU
AND YOUR PERSISTENCE

TROLL?
YOUR ARMY NEEDS
YOU
AND YOUR MOTIVATIONAL SKILLS

etc.

User avatar
CorruptUser
Posts: 10335
Joined: Fri Nov 06, 2009 10:12 pm UTC

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby CorruptUser » Fri Jan 04, 2019 3:54 pm UTC

I feel like this one from Oglaf (one of the few SFW) is relevant...
Image

User avatar
ObsessoMom
Nespresso Bomb
Posts: 786
Joined: Sun Sep 29, 2013 5:28 pm UTC

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby ObsessoMom » Sun Jan 06, 2019 6:07 pm UTC

You know what they say about old age and treachery beating youth and skill?

Cyclist, 90, stripped of world record after failing drugs test

Spoiler:
Okay, to be fair, he may have eaten contaminated food. And the world record was just in his age group. But hey, a joke's a joke.

idonno
Posts: 250
Joined: Fri Apr 03, 2015 3:34 am UTC

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby idonno » Mon Jan 07, 2019 3:58 am UTC

The anti-doping rule violation was “more likely than not” to have been caused by the consumption of a contaminated piece of meat the night before the race, according to Usada. A test undertaken the day before had returned a negative result.


Isn't epitrenbolone just used to promote muscle growth? If he didn't test positive for it the day before, I don't think that would have helped his performance. It seems pretty unfair to take away his record for something that didn't help him and probably wasn't his fault.

elasto
Posts: 3589
Joined: Mon May 10, 2010 1:53 am UTC

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby elasto » Mon Jan 07, 2019 7:53 am UTC

The problem with that logic in general is that some prohibited but non-enhancing drugs can be used to mask the presence of others that are enhancing.

And the problem with ignoring accidental contamination is that athletes could deliberately obtain contaminated products and dose alongside them, knowing they have a ready-made excuse if caught.

(The crazier one really is when an athlete gets disqualified for taking a recreational drug that could only have retarded their performance...)

User avatar
SuicideJunkie
Posts: 354
Joined: Sun Feb 22, 2015 2:40 pm UTC

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby SuicideJunkie » Mon Jan 07, 2019 4:40 pm UTC

SDK wrote:
Mutex wrote:Although that's a bad example, I don't think people who are on their phones all the time necessarily have focus, probably the exact opposite.

I don't know if that matters. All that matters is they think they have focus, leading them to think they might be good for the army, leading to more potential recruits (which is the goal of these posters).
The control panel's slider goes Focus <==> Situational Awareness, and the most elite of the focused people walk into street lights.


User avatar
Soupspoon
You have done something you shouldn't. Or are about to.
Posts: 3813
Joined: Thu Jan 28, 2016 7:00 pm UTC
Location: 53-1

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby Soupspoon » Mon Jan 14, 2019 5:55 pm UTC

Someone now ought to post a picture of a chicken, to establish the true ranking.

User avatar
pkcommando
Posts: 547
Joined: Fri Feb 10, 2012 3:22 pm UTC
Location: Allston, MA

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby pkcommando » Wed Jan 16, 2019 12:17 pm UTC

There's also merch now.
"The Universe is for raptors now!" say Raptors, as they take over all of Universe.

User avatar
dubsola
Posts: 2300
Joined: Thu Jul 12, 2007 11:55 am UTC
Location: Sunny Snakeville

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby dubsola » Thu Jan 17, 2019 2:49 am UTC

Fuck the egg. They should have done it with the big cow.

User avatar
addams
Posts: 10030
Joined: Sun Sep 12, 2010 4:44 am UTC
Location: Oregon Coast: 97444

Re: In other news... (humorous news items)

Postby addams » Thu Jan 17, 2019 3:01 am UTC

dubsola wrote:Fuck the egg. They should have done it with the big cow.
Nah...
The egg has elegant simplicity.
Life is, just, an exchange of electrons; It is up to us to give it meaning.

We are all in The Gutter.
Some of us see The Gutter.
Some of us see The Stars.
by mr. Oscar Wilde.

Those that want to Know; Know.
Those that do not Know; Don't tell them.
They do terrible things to people that Tell Them.


Return to “News & Articles”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 28 guests